Friends will come friends will go.
A friend is someone we turn to
when our spirits need a lift.
A friend is someone we treasure
for our friendship is a gift.
A friend is someone who fills our lives
with beauty, joy, and grace,
and makes the whole world we live in,
a brighter and better place.
Friends will come and friends will go,
The seasons change and it will show,
I will age and so will you,
But our friendship stays, strong and true.
Standing by you,
Holding you up,
When you are weak,
Helping you find what it is that you seek.
Catching your tears,
When you cry.
Pulling you Close when the tide is high.
Just being there,
Through thick and thin,
All the way.
Here to help you through your day.
Friends will come and friends will go,
The seasons change and it will show,
I will age and so will you,
But our friendship stays, strong and true.
you can always feel it,
And you'll always know it's there,
It may come and then go,
But you can know it'll always be back.
Friends will come and friends will go,
The seasons change and it will show,
I will age and so will you,
But our friendship stays, strong and true
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Hello! It's a nice poem; just what I was thinking about earlier today.
But, I'm the type of person who picks up on punctuation mistakes.
There should be a comma every time the reader should take a breath or pause.
Should be:
Friends will come, friends will go.
A friend is someone we turn to,
when our spirits need a lift.
A friend is someone we treasure,
for our friendship is a gift.
Because:
Friend will come <pause> friends will go.
A friend is someone we turn to <can stand alone, so pause>
when our spirits need a lift.
And so on...but, that doesn't mean that they end of every line needs a comma. It just happens that most do.
Best of luck,
McMourning
*nudges*
I havnt gone yet... five years friendship isn't bad
cool poem. I can't write poems.
*pouts*
They never sound right
Great theme. I loved it. Too many times people take friendships for granted, and I think this poem conveys the thoughts that we should all remember when we feel like the world is out to get us. (I feel that way sometimes, I don't know about anyone else, tho, lol.
) I also think that the inclusion of a chorus in the poem is a nice touch. It adds to what I mentioned about the theme.
Anyway, I did think that the spelling and capitalization errors were a bit distracting, but the emotion in the first few stanzas made up for it. It's often difficult to maintain strong emotion in a poem when the lines rhyme. The rhyme will detract from the theme and emotion by distracting the reader, but it doesn't do that in your poem.
The rhythm that the rhyme adds is really interesting, in my opinion. It's a different type of rhyme, actually. I noticed that the meter isn't perfectly even in places, and in others, it's downright noticeable that the rhyming lines don't have the same number of syllables. Did you intend for it to be that way? Because if you didn't, I think it adds a really cool effect. It hits certain lines in such a way as to make the line stand out in a reader's mind. Unusual poems seem to be the ones that make it to print these days. I love it when writing breaks out of the lines and shows us something new and intriguing.
However, I did feel that the organization of the stanzas could have used a little bit more work. The chorus is fine, but it would make sense if the verses were the same number of lines each time. It doesn't really matter if they're really long, they just have to discuss the same topic the whole way through the stanza. But if you were intending to change topics throughout the poem, perhaps putting a chorus between each topic is a good idea.
Well, I wish you the best of luck with this poem (whether you're going to edit it or not) and I hope to see more from you in the future! Keep up the good work!!!
This poem has wonderful meaning but, there are some parts that can be taken out to make it better as well as some spelling errors.
1.Friends will come friends will go,
A friend is someone we turn to
when our spirits need a lift.
A friend is someone we treasure
for our friendship is a gift.
A friend is someone who fills our lives
with beauty, joy, and grace.
And makes the whole world we live in
a Brightet better place.
*I think you meant brighter? And also, with how short your other lines are, I think that it would be best to break this into two parts:
Friends will come friends will go.
A friend is someone we turn to
when our spirits need a lift.
A friend is someone we treasure
for our friendship is a gift.
A friend is someone who fills our lives
with beauty, joy, and grace,
and makes the whole world we live in,
a brighter and better place.
*Also you have some period and capitalization errors. I've corrected them above for you. That might work out better? You have to do it to many of your lines, most of them are the same mistake as the first.
Now on we go:
2.Standing by you,
Holding you up,
When you are weak,
Helping you find what it is that you seek.
Catching your tears,
When you cry.
Pulling you Cloose when the tide is high.
Just being there,
Through thick and thin,
All the way.
Here to help you through your day.
*This is extra long as well and doesn't match well with the rest so I've parted it. lol, you don't have to use my changes by any means, I'm a little picky on how people layout their poetry.
3.you can always feel it,
And you'll always know it's there,
It may come and then go,
But you can know it'll always be back.
*This part has a lot of meaning to the poem-being between two of the same parts and separating them- but the feeling just doesn't seem as strong as the rest of the poem. Maybe start over with this one and create something with the same meaning, more descriptive words would help?
**So great poem, I really enjoyed this. If you have any questions just PM me.
Keep at it!
~Rieda